Week 24: Moment of Uncertainty
“moment of uncertainty”
Collage, cut New Yorker Magazine paper, 9" x 12"
Anyone else been stress-eating this week? Just me?
It was election day when I found the title words for this week’s collage: “moment of uncertainty.” I thought to myself: Maybe I should go ahead and write, even before I’ve done the collage, since today is such a day of uncertainty. By the time I post, the election will be over.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Do we have any more gluten-free sourdough in the house???
Okay, so it’s been more than a moment of uncertainty. And let’s face it. Humans love to know what to expect, don’t we? Dwelling in uncertainty is not on our list of favorite things.
Many of us can walk around this world feeling pretty certain about a lot of things. If I have a job today, I’m pretty certain it’s going to be there tomorrow. If I have a roof over my head, I can take for granted that it will remain. The sun will rise and set and rise again.
This election week is reminding me that uncertainty is not where my human brain wants to live. But if I’m honest, I do live there all the time. Pretty much the most certain thing I can count on is the sun rising and setting. The moon waxing and waning. The tide ebbing and flowing.
The cosmos swirls all around me while my head is buried in the election, the fridge, this week’s collage, my navel, my bank account, my fill-in-the-blank.
Big picture, nothing is certain. This present moment is the most real thing I can focus on. And that’s why making art can be such a saving grace. If my head is buried in art, it’s easy to stay present. It’s easier to keep my mind off of uncertainties, micro and macro.
But does uncertainty really have to be so uncomfortable?
“Noise New York” by Richard McGuire @richardmcguirehere
The New Yorker, November 4, 2019
When I first read “moment of uncertainty” in this week’s New Yorker (from exactly one year ago), I pretty instantly got a visual for the collage. It’s “a spiritual-evolution story.” I seek, I climb higher and higher. If I’m clever, I channel my inner Ganesha and remove obstacles in my way. I try to stay balanced. I reach a new peak, and then what? A moment of uncertainty? Am I really here? Is this as high as I can evolve? How long should I stay here? What if I fall?
What if? What if I weren’t so certain about what will happen next? What if I take a step off this ledge and, instead of falling, I discover I can fly?
No, I’m not taking psychedelics. Although I’ve considered it this week. Kidding! Do we have any coconut milk ice cream in the house???
Alright, I don’t have any ice cream, but I am blessed and privileged to have my basic needs met. I don’t have to worry about survival. And I do my best to stay in gratitude about that.
If we’re telling a collective spiritual-evolution story, I’d say we’re in a bit of a cliff-hanger. Will we take the leap? Will we create a world that no longer lets fear be the ruling motivator? Will we create a world where LOVE is the go-to response? Will we not just say everyone is created equal but actually LIVE it? Individually, collectively, socially, culturally, politically LIVE it?
If I’m on a precipice, uncertain of what is next, one thing I’m pretty certain about is that fear is only going to keep me paralyzed. Or paranoid. If this little spot is all there is, I’m going to fight for my survival here. There’s not enough room for YOU here.
But if I can be okay with not knowing, with not controlling all that I have no control over (*ahem—everything but yourself, Shad*), if I can dwell in the Love that I Am, that We Are, I’m pretty certain that Love is going to help me sprout wings and “find mystical power.”
No psychedelics needed. Maybe the occasional muffin.
P.S.
Just at this very moment I discovered that the election has been called. There’s still/always a lot of work to be done, but in this moment I’ll be having a celebratory muffin. Wait. Do we have any muffins in the house???
THIS WEEK’S FEATURED CARTOON
